ALL FOR SENATOR

It is no longer news that the Senator of the Platform Republic will lay his father (Senator Snr) to rest tomorrow in The Apo quarters, Ebonyi Chapter.

The Platform Hub gathered that after many press releases as to When the bus would arrive, The Personal Assistance  to the Special Assistance said the Bus would leave by 3:30pm, 1pm and 12pm. This info created Chaos and Comatose in the centre as People left their houses with Ghana Must Go Bags, Garri Bags and Buckets. I don't know whether they think its a fashion show coz some made hair, had nice haircuts and even wore  external Lingeries.

We shouldn't forget that according to the PA, N3000 is the fare to and fro Ebonyi.

Everyone was taken aback when the PA said we will Pay Finders fee = 3k, AC Levy =1500, Parking space levy= 400, Heat Insurance= 1400 and Miscellaneous = 4000.
Help us Calculate o.... and I'll surrender my account for the levies to be paid in.
One wonders what would happen if our PA had the keys to Heaven and we had to go by Bus.

Platform Week 3 Review

Having been exceptional in the NFA Department,(u know what that means)The HOD of the Non Academic Class was saddled with the responsibility of scheduling a time table for the Platform which he did.

This post is about what we did in three weeks especially Week Three.

1. How to be active in the bedroom department.

2. How to tie gele : some guys were used as specimen and they left the platform deaf.

3. How to propose to ladies and get a YES. They was a live proposal and YES was the answer... (Mind u ..there was no ring , so Scunt ...abi Scooonds nooo cums was used and the Proposee ate it as a sign of acceptance).
WEDDING BELLS COMING SOON. ( get your N500 and above ready )

4 How to remain fertile, male and female (all the agents were tested and the results were amazing: we saw live ammunitions of various sizes)

5. Marriage: who to marry et'al

6. Savings, Investments: our Chief Spender ran away without saving. The Alert almost made many people run momentarily mental.

7. 50 things you want and do not want: check out essay writing na...450 words. Some people say them no want HIV..... ............................     Health, Investments and Victory
Anybody want AIDS??? Assets, Investments, Deliverance, Self-Sufficiency.

8. How to last more than 2minutes : you know who teach am na. And sure sure...they were lots of practical sessions.

Some people went on Six days Off while some of us haven't smelt it even from afar.

Happy Weekend Loves....
Wishing Victoria a successful life in her new environment.
I miss her personally... Persona personally.... *weeping and wailing*
Happy Birthday Aniekan... U no call us for your Bash abi??

THE REAL TROPICANA

i cant count the number of movies, both old and new i have seen on the platform in the past 6 months. When Mr Kgati Showed us clips of the 911 movie, i thought that we were in for the time of our lives as detectives and CIA Agents or worse still NIA Agents. Little did i know that i was signing up for a Film Editor at Ibom Tropicana (The Plaform Chapter). From THE MEETING(that our Igbo community refused to let me watch), to the Antic Movie of 1935, to WHITE CHICKS and even to the unseen movie CUNT, SCUNT, SCURNS, i have seen loads and loads. Trust me, ill make a good Movie Critique on Youtube (YES!!! thats my ANPP.. sorry PDP)!!!!

The Only difference between Tropicana and The Platform is the Payment part. 250:43000. choi... beta business. My humble plea is "Oga at the top... can i register my family, kindred and community in this Film
show business? We reach 4000 plus o and many of them are pregnant with twins, triplets and quadruplets. Let's make The Platform Cinema a full fledged PDP to win the year 3000 elections!!

Alobam are you with me? ANS: A TINES.  
Queenie are you in support? ANS: AT SOME POINT
Mallam Kay are you with me? ANS: WHAT DO U MEAN BY THAT? THERE IS NO "YES/NO" ANS.
Nkisan are you With me? ANS: U KNOW HOW E DEY GO. E SURE FOR YOU.
Nkay are you with me? ANS: THIS IS DEFINETELY SLANDAROUS.
Virgie (without Table) are you with me? ANS: me sef get 5000 brothers..d same mama. dem dey road
Helen Paul are you there? ANS: I concur with everybody



..

Woman wrapper

When thr news of the death of  the Saudi Prince Abdallah dropped, the platformhub conducted a post moterm on him only to discover he had 30 wives while alive. 30 wives aside concubines.  What do we call that, love insurances??

Let's do the maths please;
It will take at least a month to satisfy these Arab beauties, if he takes them once a month.
Trust me, no woman will wait for one month for the "oil of life". So let's say everyday . That's 15hrs daily for 30 women. Minus the little 2mins CPR here and there.
Hope you know these women don't do undies ...they like easy access and all.

How can he survive? How could he bring development to Saudi? That's why Dubai even overtook them.

Now, I pity his son who will inherit these women and marry more. E go die before em coronation.

In ECC we have people who see this man as a role model. #you know them nah ...no ask me o....#i no hear say 'Sla.....nder'  . make them just keep am up. I need wedding rice bad!!! Oya hu b first???